Lessons Learned From Tallywackers, Dallas’s Male Version of Hooters

When news broke last spring that Dallas was getting a testosterone-fueled “Hooters for women,” the resulting media firestorm was swift and widespread (and full of dick jokes). One year later, Tallywackers is still going strong, despite online reviews that indicate the food is mediocre at best. Face it: No one comes here for the fine cuisine — which includes several hot dogs, natch — they come to see shirtless men in tight red shorts.

But what’s it really like to work at such an establishment? Local writer Tara Nieuwesteeg delved into the Tallywackers experience for a highly entertaining story on Narrative.ly, aptly titled “Secret Life of a Sexy Waiter at the All-Male Answer to Hooters.”

Here are seven things we learned about this dining establishment:

— In a city with tons of breastaurants, Tallywackers is the only male-oriented version: “It has been called a ‘chestaurant’ in a sea of ‘breastaurants’ – the city has more than a dozen Hooters, nine Twin Peaks locations, a risqué joint called Redneck Heaven and a sports bar ‘with a view’ called Bikini’s.”

— Starters at Tallywackers are not called appetizers, they are “abb-itizers.”

— It’s definitely not a strip club: “A few customers have been removed after groping waiters.”

— But it’s also not that much unlike a strip club: “An ATM is located conveniently near the front door; it dispenses singles.”

— The name Tallywackers is a double entendre: “The venue’s strange name comes from 1982’s classic raunch-comedy Porky’s and is fittingly also a euphemism for penis.”

— Don’t go to Tallywackers hoping to find true love: “Servers are not allowed to hook up with customers.”

— Employees aren’t always psyched to tell their parents about their new jobs: “I avoided telling them for the whole first month,” one says. “I just told them I was going to the chiropractor.”

— The restaurant’s owner does not wear the same uniform as the rest of his staff; he “comes to work fully clothed.”