The 10 Dumbest Kickstarter Product Campaigns To Have Ever Received Money – Mandatory

Crowdfunding websites are something of a recent development. They aid in making people’s prospective businesses/products/dreams come true, which is great. The caveat being that others need to support whatever it is you seek funding for.

These people need to believe in what you’re funding so much, that they’d be willing to dole out their own hard-earned cash to make this happen, which is why I created the following compilation of items.

The following products are so useless and stupid that I have no clue how these projects managed to see the light of day. While only a few of the following products didn’t meet their funding requirements (the no-raisin trail mix, for instance), most of the below have, and are now available for purchase. So if you ever feel like wasting some money, take a look at these Kickstarter-supported items below.

1. Griz Coat

First, let’s get one thing straight: Only Blake from “Workaholics” can make a grizzly bear-inspired jacket not look dumb as sh*t. Regardless, these dudes tried to appeal to a mass market and somehow succeeded. Almost 200 people donated more than $29,000 to make the weirdness that is Griz Coat happen. Since the successful campaign, they’ve profited enough to make various renditions, including: a pink bear, a wolf, a black bear and a panda. These things retail for $199.99.

2. The World’s Largest Jockstrap

Though a more amazing feat would be to find somebody to fit the jockstrap, artist Michael Barrett raised $854 to make the world’s largest jockstrap, a “sculpture” that was accepted by Guinness World Records, which now recognizes “The World’s Largest Jock Strap” as an official event. Yes, record breakers, this is what Guinness World Records, the once respected annual tome, has become.

3. Combat Kitchenware

If LARPers ever wanted kitchenware to resemble weaponry you could find on “Game of Thrones,” then Combat Kitchenware (aka: the “fighting man’s frying pan” as declared by the product’s green-haired creator) is the egg-frying appliance for this eclectic group of basement dwellers. The kitchenware received $46,261 from 561 backers.

4. Southpaw Protector

Instead of using soap, the Southpaw Protector strives to rid left-handed writers of those dreaded ink stains that you receive because you write differently from others. The item, which is essentially a glove that wraps around the wrist and pinky is incredibly ugly and is in no way a practical item. Regardless, the glove did earn its goal of $233, which came courtesy of 16 backers.

5. Crystal Bacon

While we can all agree that bacon is delicious, crystal bacon is inedible, and therefore useless. According to comments, those who purchased the item use Crystal Bacon as jewelry (both necklaces and earrings) as well as Christmas ornaments. Worst part is, it’s not even made from real crystal, it’s just made from an acrylic plastic. But that shouldn’t matter, because according to his own video testimony, the jeweler is an “acrylic artist.”

6. No Raisins Trail Mix

Raisins are a pathetic attempt at candy. As such, many don’t want the dried fruit to interfere with their trail mix. Instead of just picking around them, Michael Starling attempted to create a Kickstarter for a no-raisin trail mix. Though he only asked for $250 to make this happen, he only managed to raise $26 by four people. So unfortunately, this nut mixture (which already exists in various forms) won’t see the light of day.

7. My Little Po-Mo: Volume One

This is a compilation of academic essays on “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic,” written by the blogger behind My Little Po-Mo, Jed A. Blue, who happens to be a heavyset man with a ponytail, goatee and a shirt that reads “Occupy Ponyville” (so take from that what you will).

Basically, the guy asked for a little over $1,000 to turn his blog into a book, and 30 people made that happen. In fact, a second volume of his book has been funded as well. Bronies, man.

8. Sacco Coin Sack

Evidently, if you make something LARPers might be interested in, it’s going to get funded. Handsomely. The sack is an “excellent supplement to minimalistic wallet,” (grammatical error included) and can hold “a handful” of coins, gaming dices, jewelry and more. It’s a coin purse that’s the size of a man’s scrotum, is incredibly impractical, yet managed to earn $14,650 from 556 backers.

9. A Chicken Burrito from Chipotle

“This project involves purchasing a Chipotle burrito, eating it, and rating the amount of deliciousness that it has.” This is a quote taken directly from the Kickstarter video that saw a man seeking funds for a burrito so that he can rate its deliciousness.

Though the guy only asked for a mere $8.10 (which he breaks down and includes a one dollar tip for Chipotle’s employees), backers were feeling generous, and gave the dude $1,050 for this very necessary project.

10. StackUp

This has to be the dumbest of the bunch and should be a joke, but seems entirely legitimate. The StackUp sought to fix the no-problem problem that is presenting Pringles in an appealing way for guests.

Instead of just opening the can and letting friends have at it, the StackUp lets you present the chips in the exact same way it would sit in the can, except you can see the chips. As you might have guessed, this project didn’t even come close to its goal of $93,800.